the tender bar

For anyone that doesn’t know, “The Tender Bar” by J.R. Moehringer, is a book about a man’s life as he graduates college. It’s a coming of age story about how he was basically brought up in the local bars on Long Island and the life lessons he learned from being brought up that way. As an former English major, finding your “favorite book” is a constant struggle but after reading this one twice I have officially made it mine. For those that haven’t read it, you need to. Right now. I read it for the first time the summer of 2008 after I had just graduated and immediately after wrote J.R. a letter basically worshipping him and his book. I read it again the summer of 2009 and I guess in keeping with the theme will probably read it again this summer. Just awesome.

Anyway, this book, along with tons of others and pretty much any movie with a bartender in it, paints the picture of the bartender as the ultimate psychologist. This is a trait that I am still working hard on. I started bartending at our local “country club”- the Amackassin Club- on Thursday nights just from 7-10pm. The club doesn’t officially open until Memorial Day so saying that the nights have been slow is a complete and total understatement. But do I enjoy it? Absolutely. I’ve never bartended before and there’s something to say about being on the other side. My mom says I look like a fish walking on dry land back there but that’s like the pot calling the kettle black.

                                                                                                                 The Amackassin Club
The place sells mostly all beer and wine and if anyone orders anything else I almost always have to ask them how to make it which isn’t as embarrassing as I thought. I have yet to forget how to make a cosmo after making my first (and only) one way back in February. The place has a certain charm to it for sure and every single person that walks through the door knows me or my parents so it’s comfortable in that way. This isn’t to say that I’m like so totally popular but my mom and dad both grew up in North Yonkers with big families and in two different “groups” if you will. For such a big city everyone knows everyone else. A blessing and a curse.

This particular Thursday started off as usual, with me being the only person in the whole place. I don’t usually mind unless I’m tired and then I would love for people to come in and entertain. Be careful what you wish for. Around 7:30 the tennis team came in for their pre-season pump up meeting. Only 7 of them showed up but the tennis “pro”, Kevin, a 65 year old former (current) hippie in love with life, was as enthusiastic as ever about the start of the season. He walked into the bar clapping it up with his guitar slung over his shoulder.

The meeting itself lasted about 20 minutes; they basically talked about everyone who wasn’t there and argued about why they didn’t have a working ball machine. The meeting was officially adjourned and so the guitar came out and me and two other women were suckered into being an audience. Kevin was asked to play the Sacred Heart Grade school’s spring concert and had the sheet music in tow. His first song: Summer Lovin’ from Grease. I have a karaoke history with Summer Lovin’- video included- so I found this pretty funny. He continued on with a few other numbers from the concert including La Bamba, Hound Dog and Leader of the Pack. Yes, these are 8-13 year old Catholic school students that will be singing these for their parents and the neighborhood. That’s Yonkers in a nutshell. Anyway, the two women left and I thought “How much longer can this last?”. About 4 vodka-limes juices and 6 Beatle songs, that’s how long. There is only so much fake enthusiasm I can muster. His wife even stopped by and upon seeing him and his empty glasses and me with my head in my hands could only ask “What in God’s name are you doing?”.

You can bet the entire time I was laughing to myself and thinking that I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. But watching this guy, totally content with life, so happy to just be doing something he loved and was semi-good at, made me think that if I could be that happy with my life when I’m 65 then I will have done a lot of things right. I sort of know his son and have met his wife (God bless her) numerous times and it seems like he has actually has done everything right. I left there, met my friend Jeanne for a beer, we talked for about 3 hours just catching up and I couldn’t have been happier so maybe I am at least on the right track with the people I surround myself with.

You can count on more bartending stories to come since the summer is right around the corner and I don’t have a bouncer but in the mean time read “The Tender Bar”. I could say it’s life changing but really it’s just everything you probably already know being pointed out to you.